I Have One Thing To Say: BOTTOMS

That boy is a bottom!

Hey everyone, it’s everyone’s favorite romance novelist investigative journalist, Carrie Bearshaw. Can we take a hot (lukewarm?) minute to talk about everyone’s favorite topic? BOTTOMS. Either you love them or you love to be one. Nevertheless, whether they are the yin to your yang or your biggest competition, it is apparent that the increased number of them seems to be sprouting up faster than weeds in a dirty muddy poopy brown yard.

Humor me for a minute with a little anecdote: Think about the relationship man (and I use this concerning humankind- not man specifically. Girl Power!) and dogs have had. Bffs for millennia, right? Inseparable! When Henry Ford created the first automobile 100 years ago, we had no idea that our canine companions would have SO MUCH FUN riding copilot. I have never met a dog who didn’t love sticking its head out the car window, slobbering on my lap more than my ex-boyfriend did. This new, profound facet of our relationship with our fur babies has only been possible in a short stint of our history-long journey together.

His tongue reminds me of my ex-boyfriend too.

Now think about men pleasuring their prostate. It has only been in the last few years that the stigma has been lifted about men finding pleasure “back there.” In the past, it was seen as too feminine, too weak, too unhygienic, too gay, or just too taboo to discuss, let alone explore. Now that ass play/prostate massage/anal/pegging/whatever you want to call it is becoming more accepting in society, and not just in the lgbtq+ community either, we are realizing a lot more men are enjoying it than previously perceived. Just like those dogs hanging out the car window.

In a recent poll conducted by Bears Looking, 53.3% of users identified as bottoms, or wanting to bottom more than topping if they could only choose one role concerning anal penetrative sex. Conducting this poll was a lot of HARD work, but hey, someone has to do it, right? SUCKS to be us.

53.3% isn’t much more than half, but when you consider the amount of men in the HOLE world, who are discovering backdoor pleasure, that number multiplies rapidly. This can leave you (me) sexually frustrated while scrolling through the apps looking for compatibility, whether it’s Mr. Right (beware of red flags) or Mr. Right Now (disregard red flags but fall for him anyway).

@balancedi photographed by @benowensphotography on Instagram.

Nevertheless, at the end of the day, we must put our blue balls aside and realize the steps we are taking toward total acceptance and be aware of the more open society in which we are starting to live. We have come a long way, and the future is bright for all our dark holes.